How to Thrive While Single
I so fondly (ahem, or not so fondly) remember while I was single, people in other stages of life telling me things like “This is the best time of your life!” While they meant well, that began to frustrate me, because to me the grass definitely looked greener on the other side. Now that I am on the “other-side”, I think I have a little insight into what they were trying to say. But, I would love to encourage you with the truth that every season of your life is just as valuable to the Lord as the next. So, it’s so important to steward this season well. If you’re wondering how, we’ll dig into that here as we focus on a few ways to “thrive” in your singleness.
Living Life Now
Something I wish I had taken to heart during my season of singleness was Paul’s writing in 1 Corinthians 7. Paul, a single man, speaks about how those who are single are able to give their undivided attention to the Lord. Undivided attention - that means everything you’ve got. Every thought, every care, every action…. everything, to the Creator of the universe! Truly, what a joy this is. Now to be clear, this is the call on all of our lives as Christians, but what he means is that as a single person, you have fewer distractions or concerns outside of yourself and the Lord. In hindsight, this is probably what those people were trying to tell me when they called singleness “the best time of your life.”
So how do you use this insight from Paul to make the most out of this season? Simply, stop waiting for the next thing, and live life now! Instead of focusing on who you’re going to date next or even who you’ll marry, focus on your devotion to the Lord and ask him each day what he wants for you in it. My biggest piece of advice in this: don't waste this time, use it wisely. This is your time to develop an even stronger relationship with our Father, the author of relationships. So that, when that next relationship comes along, you’ll be able to again steward that season well. A huge piece of truth that I seemed to so easily forget in my singleness is this: we are not to place our hope in getting married, we are to place our hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Guarding Your Heart
As a teenager, a verse was shared with me that has impacted my life in so many ways; I have found it helpful in every season since. Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart. For it determines the course of your life.” Do you feel the magnitude of this when you read it? I do. Every. Single. Time. My heart determines the entire course of my life, so God says to guard it, and guard it with all you have. Guard your heart from temptations, guard your heart from the lies of our culture, guard your heart from anything that does not bring glory to our Father. In this same page the author writes, “Seek wisdom, and she will guard you.” So, take some time today, consider those things that are currently threatening your heart, and ask the Lord how you can guard against them. Ask him for wisdom in this area of your life. This is necessary in every season, but I do believe Satan loves to try to break down those barriers we put up to guard our hearts early on in our singleness. Guard your heart, in every season, and you will grow to look more and more like Jesus.
Fixing Your Eyes On Jesus
Lastly, trust God and fix your eyes on Him. Look to Him to be your source of joy and fulfillment, because only he can give you all that you need. So many singles find themselves discouraged during this time, but it does not have to be this way. There’s so much life, joy, memories, and experiences to be had!
“Only one life; will soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.” - C.T. Studd
